Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
