There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
