I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize