I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
operation harelip BJ is a go
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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