i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
