The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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