She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Let's paint friendship bongs
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
