i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was confusing and full of hummus
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
