Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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