Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
