If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
