So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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