they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
