there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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