Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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