"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
