you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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