im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
