Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
