they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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