right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
