i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
