porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your penis caused this!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
