forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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