Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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