you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dick very happy bro
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
