I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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