Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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