I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
