Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
