What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
