it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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