you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize