U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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