Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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