girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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