driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
