its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize