So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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