I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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