he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
