I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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