Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i've created a new STD.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
