so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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