she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's great music for shaving your balls
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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