3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize