I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I came so hard my ears popped.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
