im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
