tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
