you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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