My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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