dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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