And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
