i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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