Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
