don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
