Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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