Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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