i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
