I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
