I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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