I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
