Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
