I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
