i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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