Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
