Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
