I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
