Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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