Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
