Porn is love you can see.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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